Dear girls,
This month I want to talk to you about Absence and Independence.
Before I left for my trip last month to Paris and Florence, I was nervous and excited. Nervous that I would be so far from you but excited for the adventure ahead.
What if you fell down and got hurt and the nurse called me from school and I didn’t pick up my phone?
What if a classmate said something hurtful and you really wanted to talk to me about it at bedtime but I wasn’t there.
What if you ate hotdogs every single night for dinner?
What if you watched more TV, showered less, didn’t change your underwear, forgot your homework, needed braids.
What if what if what if.
And then my friend Aileen said something so wise that I felt completely okay about leaving the two of you with Daddy. An a-ha moment if you will. She said : Your Absence Is Just As Important As Your Presence. Of course it is. To raise independent children who can make good decisions, make mistakes and learn from them, I need to step away sometimes.
This morning I see that Rachel over at Hands Free Mama has posted an article echoing exactly what is in my mind and heart. Thank you Rachel for being more eloquent than I could ever be.
Rachel is so right, isn’t she? When we, the grownups in your life are not present, suddenly you step up to the plate. Big girl, suddenly you are watching out more for your little sister. Reading to her at night, holding her hand from the bus stop to home, making sure she is okay. Little kid, suddenly you don’t need to be babied anymore, you got this kid thing down pat and your sister suddenly became your go-to person and as much as the two of you fight, you are her most loyal friend and you will defend her to the death.
Love you both so much. You are becoming such wonderful, independent young women. Thank you for being the best teachers I could ever ask for.
xoxo,
Mummy
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I want you all to visit one of the newest members of our Letters circle, the amazing Wendy Laurel. A veritable rainbow of colours will greet you when you see her work, all the way from Hawaii! Welcome Wendy!
xo,
Rashmi
3 Responses
I struggle at times with the same thing as well. Work has put Wes and I on the road a couple times, and the kids have been left in very capable and loving hands. Letting go is so much harder for us I feel. You are such an amazing woman Rashmi. Following you on Facebook I have learned so much about you in such a short time and it makes me wish i was closer to you. You are one of those friends you grow and learn from so I can only imagine how blessed your daughters feel to have you in their corner as a mentor and a mother.
This is what I mean about you Rashmi – you always have such wise words that are not only lessons for your girls, but for me too, lessons in motherhood – I agree with it all and sit and nod my head to each of your letters – and thank you for sharing the link too xx
Hi, I found you through the Italian fix website. Can you please email me to discuss your experience with the trip? I would love to talk to a wonderful photographer like yourself, as I am just starting out (with only 2 sessions shot total!)