Sometimes being a parent can be tiring, frustrating and hard. But no matter how difficult a particular day seems to be, when the kids are asleep and the house is quiet and semi cleaned up, I realize that there is nothing else I would rather do and nowhere else I would rather be than right here.
Just before leaving for school every morning, my kids give me hugs and kisses and say ‘Have a nice day Mom!’. How can anything really top that as a way to start the day? It can’t. Because seeing them embrace each new day as one full of new adventures and opportunities, that fills me with a sense of joy and purpose.
I remember when I was 7 or 8 years old, we were at an army base high up in the Himalayan mountains. All the kids on base put up some entertainment for the officers and their families one night. At the end we all stood in line, and Von Trapp style, one by one, we said aloud what we wanted to be when we grew up. I was last (perhaps I was the youngest?) and I said “When I grow up, I want to be a Mummy’. And everybody laughed and I was so embarrassed.
Truth be told, that is all I have ever wanted to be. To stay home and take care of my children. I have never looked down on it or thought it was not a real job. I just saw my mom do it with grace and adored her to bits.. so why would I have not wanted to be her when I grew up?
But this mom gig, I feel the clock ticking. My oldest is 8. Which means in 10 years she goes off to college. This makes me heart sick. My youngest has a loose tooth and the tooth fairy will probably come visiting tomorrow night. Right now they still believe in Santa. But I know in a couple of years, that won’t be true anymore. Change is inevitable. But this change, watching them grow up right before my eyes, is the hardest thing I have ever experienced. I love their every age and yet, I am sad that the baby stage, the preschool stage.. its come and gone. Gone. They don’t need naps anymore. And showers have replaced baths for the most part. And so there is change and growth every single day. And while its my job to make sure they become self sufficient, independent young ladies, it does not make it any easier.