I am not sure what magic formula my mother used when we were kids, but both my sister and I are confident people. Not over confident and obnoxious (though she can be.. heh) but confident enough to be able to be put in a room full of people we don’t know and survive.
I was getting ready for the day, and putting on my size 16 jeans and XL shirt, shaking out my hair that has not been to a salon in months, not a stitch of makeup and was feeling pretty good about myself. I might be the heaviest I have ever been (I like chips/crisps… so sue me!) but my weight does not define me. My hair does not define me. How is this possible? What did my mother do right?
I know what she did not do. She did not spend endless hours primping before a mirror. She didn’t need to. In my eyes, she was the most beautiful woman in the world. She did not talk about what food to eat or not eat. She made delicious food with abandon, just like her own mother and loved feeding it to all of us (do you know how hard it is to make an apple pie in India?). She did not speak about gaining or losing weight. Unknowingly (or perhaps knowingly), by not making Weight and Beauty phantom cohabitants in our home, we never gave them any thought.
I have never considered myself ‘beautiful’ by conventional standards. And I am so glad that was not something I had to fall back on. I had/have humour, wit and confidence. And lucky for me, those improve with age.
I mean, would I like to get back to bootcamp.. yes of course.. but only to stay healthy and fit.. not because I don’t feel good about myself.
The point of all this is this… our daughters (and sons).. they see, they hear, they absorb into their brains. We can tell them that they are beautiful but our actions are much more powerful than words. Be careful what you put out into their world. They think you are so beautiful.. and you are, so don’t unknowingly teach them otherwise.
That ‘muffin top’ that people so despise.. well I can’t say I love mine (though its more bagel like in nature).. but when my kids want to play with my ‘jelly belly’, I let them. Its cool. Those stretch marks.. they know its because they grew inside me and I would not want to get rid of even a single one.
Be confident. There is nothing less beautiful than someone who does not like how they look in the mirror.