Letter To My Daughters | June 25 2012

suc·cess

  • The accomplishment of an aim or purpose.
  • The attainment of popularity or profit.

pop·u·lar·i·ty

  • The state or condition of being liked, admired, or supported by many people.

My sweet baby girl,

I want to talk to you about success and popularity. They seem to be the currencies of our time and in the coming years you will face the choice of doing the right thing or doing what is popular, and too often these two things are not in alignment with one another. I hope you always choose to do the right thing.

You ask me how you will know what is the right thing to do. My answer is always the same : slow down and listen to your breath, listen to your heart. When you slow down, the right choice becomes clear. Very few decisions cannot wait a minute, an hour or a night’s sleep. Take your time. Always err on the side of friendship and family but make sure you are able to recognize who is well meaning and who just wants their needs to be met.

I know you feel all kinds of delight when the third grade boys call you ‘cute’.  I am pretty sure popularity is something you will seek and that makes me worry about the decisions you will make as you get older. I know you can’t help it if they call you cute and pretty, and you are those things but you are more than those things. Much much more. You are kind. You are caring. You are loving. You are a good friend.

Popularity and success mean nothing if you do not live your life in truth. We are just given this one precious life. And as we have seen with our own family, all too soon many of us reach the end and have to grapple with wondering if our life meant anything. I know we won’t measure our life by our financial success or our popularity with our peers. So what do we measure our life in? I think we measure it by the people in our lives, the connections and memories and time spent together. We measure it in love.

Don’t compare your path to that of another person. We have no idea the journey that other people went on to get to where they are now. Comparing is just a recipe for unhappiness. Someone will always have more success and be more popular. So what? Live your life with integrity and garner respect because of experience. There really are no shortcuts so don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Pretty is as pretty does my love. And I know you have the heart and the courage to be beautiful.

xoxo, Mummy

Dear readers, now go forth and enjoy the beautiful, dream like photography of Val Spring of The Red Balloon Photography and see some beautiful photos of her daughters. Val, because of this blog circle of love letters, I have come to know you friend.. and it is a privilege to take part in this project with you. xo

8 Responses

  1. True words of wisdom! This is SUCH an inspiring and beautiful letter Rashmi! Your daughter is going to appreciate this and treasure it always. I love your image too, she is just such a beautiful child! And I have no doubt her soul is just as amazing having such a special mother to guide her in her lifetime. I am truly blown away by not only your heart but you as a mother. Your family is SO lucky to have you!

  2. i treasure this letter! these things run through my mind all the time…with my wee girl as she gets older. i’m so grateful for your eloquence and will have to tuck some of this away for later…

  3. Honest, true, raw and touching. You are one of my very favourite writers…I could read your words until the cows come home and I pretty much want to get on a plane and come see spend time with you…I don’t have to have met you to know how much I love you. What a beautiful image this is, she’s so lovely Rashmi <3

  4. Rashmi, I love you for saying things that every Mama wants to tell her daughter – you are a real light and inspiration and I thank you every month for such wonderful words… and the beautiful image is just the perfection on top of all that – thank you x

  5. Dear papal,
    I some times wonder how my daughter can be so wise,mature,loving at this age.I am sure with your guidance. both your girls will turn out to be good girls.Part of being a mother to girls is fearing the future choices they make when they are teenagers.But if you can be a more of a friend and less of a strict parent,hopefully they will come to you when they have problems.Of course with mom`s sixth sense you will know when they are in trouble and will be there for them

  6. Rashmi. I don’t even know what to say – your letter is absolutely perfect. What an incredible lesson, and delivered in such a magnificent way. I’m keeping this lesson close to my OWN heart, and will be sharing it with my children as well. Your words are like gems, treasures, but more – they’re priceless.

  7. Ummm… will you please start writing letters to my kiddos too? You always seem to know just what to say and you always say it so perfectly Rashmi. Popularity is something I have been thinking about quite a bit with Stella getting older. Sometimes I wish she were red-headed and awkward like I was growing up. I will be thinking about your words as I navigate this path with her and B & P. (And as always, you pick the most perfect single image.)

  8. Another beautiful letter from the amazing Rashmi. Such truth you write; such powerful words that all young women should hear. My favorite line is “We measure it in love.” This is definitely a truth that I hope my girls will embrace. xoxo

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