Letter To My Daughter | October 17 2012

Sweet girl,

Happy 9th Birthday my love. NINE.  The half way point of your at-home years. If I dare for a second peek through the covers of the years ahead and look into the future another nine years, I see you, a beautiful you, going off to college, confident and soft spoken and with such a bright future. Side note : Dear Universe, please let the next nine years go by slowly.

They say you are a tween now. A term marketing people came up with for someone who is between the ages of a young child and a teenager. Sweetheart, you have never been one to conform to stereotypes and I hope you always stay that way. Keep breaking the rules and give those advertisers and media-gurus a run for their money. They can’t define you or put you in a box. They can’t make you wear Sniff-n-Scratch tees or listen to Justin Bieber. Don’t ever let them tell you how you should look, feel or behave.

You already have the keenest sense of what is good, what is right and what is you. I hope you can stay true to yourself but I know in the next few years your self confidence may be challenged and you will find yourself second guessing your ideas, your ideals and your decisions. You will feel some confusion about growing up and about how you look and feel. Remember, your moral compass is always in your back pocket. Use it to navigate your way through any storms that are ahead. And if that compass is lost, then you know where to find me.

In the years to come, I won’t always have the answers but I promise to be there so we can figure it out together. I promise never be so busy as to not have time to see you, to hear you, to listen to you and guide you.

I don’t feel quite ready to be a mummy to a tween or a teen. I am so afraid that my impatience will get the better of me and I will lose your trust and confidence. I am afraid that there will be days when you don’t like me and think I am a terrible mother. I am afraid of not understanding what you are going through and making snap judgements. I am afraid of a rift developing between us, of losing the innocent, sweet relationship we have now. I am afraid that not being from here will be a handicap and that I will become a caricature of a Tiger Mom.

But most of all,  I am afraid that the next nine years will pass by as quickly as the first nine, and you will leave our nest and fly off to your very own adventures. I want you to, but I don’t want you to just as much.

I hope you have a very happy birthday sweetheart. Your last one-digit year. While you are blowing out the candles on your cake this evening and making a wish, I will be making a few wishes for you too. Happiness and health always, a grateful heart, friends and family who love and understand you and most of all the audacity to be yourself because you are perfect to me.

Love you always,

Hugs and kisses from your #1 fan,


All photos on this post are by my incredibly talented friend, capturer-of-love-on-film extraordinaire, Yan (Diana Palmer). Thank you Yan for giving me the best gift I could ever have asked for as a Mum.. a documentation of what I feel for my children. xo

Please follow the Letters blog circle to my friend and extraordinary writer, Stephanie Beaty : Lifeographer . Stephanie recently had her fourth baby, a little boy and I love her perspective about raising Scout, her only girl (and third child) with her three brothers. This month we have several amazing photographers join our Letters To Our Daughters group, so get yourself a cup of tea and enjoy all the letters and photographs. xo

7 Responses

  1. Rashmi, I wish so badly that I had your gift for writing. You inspire me every.single.time. Happy Birthday to your sweet sweet girl and happy birthday to you too dear friend. xo

  2. oh rashmi what a beautiful tribute to your beautiful baby girl on her birthday…enjoy every single ounce of this “last one digit year” sweet friend.

  3. oh dear, am i crying! big tears and an aching throat crying…there is something so very accessible and graceful about your writing and the the sweetness and honesty it conveys. my girl is only six months behind yours so i very much feel your love and worries and sentiments in my gut. her moral compass is in her back pocket…how i LOVE this. i may refer to this wonderful metaphor in the future. you are a lovely person, rashmi, with a wide open heart. i can see the same in your daughter’s face. these pictures are phenomenal.

  4. Happy birthday, little girl. Rashi, I really enjoyed reading your letter and how true about all the things you said. I would wish the same thing for my daughter and can’t stop thinking about her while reading your letter. You are such a wise mom and she is so lucky to have.

  5. You Lucky Lucky Girl. Yan? I have followed her and her photography for some time. She is so so talented. And to have those of your beloved (a perfect mirror and reflection of you, no doubt) and YOU in the shots, The. Best. Could you be any cuter with your little? That one of her mouth open and laughing with you kissing on her is just precious. I also love you sandwiching her…your letter intertwined with these images are just beyond magical. You have a lot of wisdom and character to share with her. It is so refreshing to see.

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